


Monster

by nothingbutsandanddust



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 15:33:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18672517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingbutsandanddust/pseuds/nothingbutsandanddust
Summary: Cassian was tasked with taking Nesta to the Illyrian camps and he was determined to do his job right - if only Nesta would stop ignoring him.Nesta was determined to keep her feelings in check, as well as the dangerous powers she'd been cursed with. But when a comment made by an Illyrian makes her see red, can she control either?Angst





	Monster

Cassian

Cassian paced in front of the house he and Nesta were residing in for their time at the Illyrian war camps. He’d been pacing for the past thirty minutes, trying to decide what he was going to do now. Hell, he’d been trying to wrap his head around earlier today’s events. Once again, he closed his eyes and replayed the scene his head for the millionth time.

_Cassian watched Nesta as she stomped back toward their house a few steps in front of him. Her (tight-fitting) Illyrian leathers were stained with mud and blood from their grueling training session. Through which Nesta had not even deigned to spare him a glance, much less spare him a word. Instead, it had been hours of him barking instructions and corrections at her, only to be rewarded with cold silence._

_Alright then, he thought bitterly, if she doesn’t have the decency to speak with me, why should I even try getting anywhere with her?_

_Even though he’d never admit it, Cassian knew the answer to that question. A growl rumbled low in his chest, drawing the attention of many males surrounding them. Not Nesta’s attention though, never Nesta’s attention. She just continued making her way toward the house, stiff as a board. So, tasked with keeping her safe by the High Lady, he followed her as well._

_That is until one of the sons of the wealthier Illyrians stepped into his path. Despite being a few inches shorter than Cassian, he was a fairly tall male with buzzed dark hair and the hazel eyes almost all Illyrians shared. Conlan, he thinks his name was. The general had met his father, Lord Garran, only on a handful of occasions. An old, sneering asshole with an awful temper. All traits his son seemed to have inherited._

_Cassian looked down at the sneering male, his brows raising in a silent question. And challenge. Merely folding his muscled arms over his chest, Conlan bared his teeth at the general. Cassian was barely able to hold in the roaring laughter that threatened to burst through the surface. He knew Garran hated him, absolutely despised that a bastard was given such a high position, and he was not surprised that these opinions were passed down to his son. However, Cassian had never expected Garran to raise his boy to be such a fool. A fool big enough to challenge the Lord of Bloodshed to a battle he was doomed to lose. It wasn’t that Cassian wasn’t challenged regularly during his visits, especially when it concerned the snivelling sons of the wealthy, but Conlan was a child. Barely fifty years of age and, as far as Cassian knew, had gotten little to no formal combat training. He could beat Conlan with both hands tied behind his back while blindfolded. Hell, Feyre could beat him under such circumstances even without magic._

_“Are you sure you want to do this, boy?” Cassian questioned, knowing full well that the use of this term would make the kid see red. Indeed, Conlan’s eyes darkened with rage but the boy quickly cooled it, surprising Cassian a little with how in control he was with his emotions for a kid this young. Of course, he didn’t let even a hint of that surprise show on his face._

_With a snort, the boy retorted, “Did you really think I’d lower myself to fight a bastard? Ha! That is beneath me and every high born in this entire court.”_

_Cassian schooled his features into a cold, unfeeling mask. One that frequently shaped Nesta’s sharp features. On her, it looked as if her face were carved from icy, unfeeling stone._

_Not wanting to grant Conlan an answer, Cassian stepped around him as if he were nothing but a piece of furniture and continued to follow Nesta. Nesta who, now that Cassian was paying her attention, had stopped walking. She hadn’t turned and her back was facing him but she’d waited. And she’d undoubtedly heard the insults thrown his way. Cassian swore. He’d been extremely careful in preventing her from hearing the words hurled his way by those who despised him but he hadn’t been thinking much, he’d been brooding about her cold shoulder._

_“What’s the matter, bastard? Afraid of what your witch girlfriend will think of you now that she knows what you are?” Conlan called after him. Cassian gritted his teeth and fisted his hands but continued forwards. “Do you think she’ll dump you now because she knows that you are nothing but a worthless, disgusting bastard that she should be ashamed to have f-”_

_Conlan didn’t get to finish his insult before a bolt of painful white magic hit him square in the chest, hurling him back a few hundred metres until his back hit a tree with a painful thud. His limp body slid down the trunk until he lay on the hard soil. Loud shouts rang throughout the gathered Illyrians and one young male swooped down from the sky to inspect Conlan. After checking for a pulse, the Illyrian raised his head to snarl viciously at Nesta._

_“You crazy witch! You’ll burn for this. We’ll cut off your head and hang it on a spike for everyone to see you for the monster you are!” Before Cassian could beat the living shit out of the moron, Nesta, a horrified expression on her face, turned and fled. Cassian, too stunned to move, watched her go until she disappeared into the house. He wanted to chase after her. He wanted nothing more at this very moment. But the camp was in a rage and he had to take care of it before their tempers led to bloodshed._

It had been very difficult to form some semblance of calm after that. In fact, he’d barely managed to make a dent in the warriors’ anger but it bought them at least a fortnight before they did something truly idiotic.

After he had finished, Cassian had immediately taken to the skies and landed hard in front of the porch, mud flying around him with upon contact. And there he still was, pacing, pacing, and pacing. Finally, he decided what he would do and entered the house. As quietly as he could, he made his way up to her room and knocked. No answer came from behind the great oak door. Cassian waited a minute before knocking again with more force. He knew she was in there, he could scent her. Still, no answer.

“Nes! Nesta, I know you’re there. Open the door,” he shouted at the door. Again, no sounds came from within the room. Cassian pounded on the door until his hands hurt.

“Nes- Nesta! Let me in.”

Cassian continued his assault on the poor door until Nesta screamed at him to go away, although she used much less dignified words. At the sound of her voice, he immediately stopped. He’d never heard her voice sound like that before. Never heard it contain any emotion other than anger or annoyance. Now, it was overflowing with raw feelings.

Defeated, Cassian clenched his jaw and turned away from the door, from Nesta, and trudged back to his own quarters. There, he threw himself onto the bed, not even bothering to change out of his leathers, and fell into an uneasy sleep filled with dreams of scarlet blood and scorching white light.

* * *

_Nesta_

Nesta slid down the cool bathroom wall until she lay huddled on the cold stone. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if it burst out, tearing through skin, muscle, and bone.

Before she could stop it, a sob escaped her lips. And another, and another, and another. There she sat, curled up on a bathroom floor, crying. Nesta had thought she’d had it under control. She’d thought she needn’t worry about getting angry and hurting anyone ever again. But that male and what he’d said about Cassian…

Nesta groaned, digging her nails into the soft flesh of her legs. She hadn’t missed the look on the other Illyrians’ faces after they’d witnessed what she’d done. She hadn’t overlooked the terror in the voice of the male that had checked on his friend. A friend she had attacked.

_Monster. Monster. Monster._

The word repeated in her head until she couldn’t bear it. Until her mind had had enough. Until she collapsed into a deep, restless sleep.

_Monster. Monster. Monster._


End file.
